Friday, September 01, 2006

...

LADIES..

And

GEn-TU-MEN....

aku has moved from blogger to multiply

and catch me there;

I MOVED HOUSE!!!

visit me la.. and hyperlink me PLEASE!

*sry for the movement, i'm under a high influcent of my girlfriend.

Posted by Psyhotic at 9/01/2006 01:07:00 AM

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

seriously, i feel like strangling that faggot in my office (re-emphasize) the OLD fucking FAGGOT! shut up and do your duties will you? stop looking and acting like a fuck-nut spy in the office, so what if you're the boss pet! piss me off, and you're dead. but in fact i'm just pissed off. not yet to that extend of..

you're dead.

whatever.

i feel good, very good bitching about that faggot in school... =D it makes my day. raise upon, and curse his fuckin death to come soon!..

you fcukin-knnbccb bloody asshole!

sometimes it keeps me thinking how thick skin can one gets, and how dominating can one show? authorites, filthy rich? go fly the highest kite. some fcukup kid needs to learn how to speak - especially when you're dealing with me. i can be very nasty. i could tear you apart. sometimes, you need to LEARN when to speak the RIGHT things at the RIGHT fucking time kid!

=)

but till then, fuck all your bull and shit words. i do give a damn about it!

bye

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/22/2006 07:58:00 PM

few people in these world;

-talk with their brains
-talk straight-forwardly with brains
-talk without their brains

which one you fall into?

and beware, words are brutal. use it wisely - some fcuknut.

kudos for what you said, but you've got a laid-back chap here, till then, anymore bull or shit from you.

i'll make sure i'll grenade it right till it dissolve.

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/22/2006 12:19:00 AM

i miss my buds

the good deal about working at my place is that,

you get to have luxurious ride on the MERCEDEZ cab and back by normal cab too! haha in fact i don't need to pay a single cent to have my ride being paid - only to places that my boss asked me to!

well, some fcuked up ass called up and screamed into my co. phone. but no worries, i don't give a flyin fuck about it. i admit that i'm being paid to listen all that bull and shit. so? more of it, to keep my morning, real occupied.

some people left, some people stay. i felt very sad when i knew his granny has left. that kinda feeling came back a year back. how much it took me to stand again. painfully, brutally, this pain slowly strikes you right into your heart. now it's dissolved in me, it made me a better person. i hope that journey for him will be as smooth as it is.

movie craze.

but bleah... i'm more tempted over the food. and fly fuck! had too much of food. and fcukin right, jo! we need to detox with the mr. cunt's techniques of BLEAH-BLAHING out... and shake it shake it out. or did he 69 for the better? ya... detoxing for the 4894651687 times. i'd probably lose count of it.

till then,
have a fuckin good night.
=)

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/22/2006 12:13:00 AM

Monday, August 21, 2006

the harder i breathe,

the harder i cried.

those frustations in me,

i tugged myself in my blanket.

hoping it could cease the moment of my last breathe.

it didn't.

i screamed,

the pain in me,

felt like thousand of needles penetrating through,

as shattered as it is,

i felt like tearing myself apart.

what have i done,

i fisted right into my head many times...

where was i supposed to be?

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/21/2006 02:18:00 AM

3 more days,

my belove dad,

bring me to where you rest,

where the world revolves the other way,

where tears turn into holy water.

where this place co-exist.

-shattered

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/21/2006 12:59:00 AM

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

i'm starting to handle my workload well, having a nice table at work is definitely pleasing - but that doesn't seem to be a good sign. you tend to get more work and work and work with that clean table. so to prevent such issues to happen, i placed one big pile of files on the table (just for display). hypocrisy is running in the office, with barely only 6 collegues -2 of those are my relatives. so? this is weird, no matter how small environment you are, you tend to be involve in politics. but i chose to shoo my ass away from all the "i kill you, you kill me" kinda bullshit. knowingly, i've been back-stabbed many times, but who cares? i'm the only hack-care person in the office. i can't really much be bothered with that old faggot whispering to the blackie. all i need to do is, do what i need to do, and get my ass out at 5.30pm! and happily wait for my pay every end of the month.

i chose not to lose to reality. and here i am, fighting with reality. this is how i should handle my job from the very first place. with no passion and interest, i chose not to put in any effort at all. i chose to act like a robot in office, i mean who gives a flying fuck?

so what if you handle your work fast? the next pile waits for you, (even if it's not important, you see that "I'm URGENT" sign on the document). when you do it slowly, you kana fuck upside down. so.. what's the deal here? you can't be too fast, and too slow - be moderate. flying fuck, so what if its a law firm? i use the "F" and "CB" word as often as i need to apply in my every conversation (i just need to tone down my voice.) other than that, whose law is it anyway? lol.

i wish anytime i could tender my resignation, to be a student again. but for some responsibilities reason, i chose to stay on. always wanting to be a student forever, i can just DREAM ON!. fuck the politics in the office, you muther old faggot, you can say all you want - but i don't give a flying fuck, i have my way to handle you, just like i can handle that blackie. i'm never afraid, even if i took so many off days. =D this is how daring i am! my probation has yet to end.

till then, fuck you and bring your ass home! i'm a different person after 5.30! always remember in mind, my fellow collegues, i'm not your bloody secretary, i do ART not LAW! - please remember.

phew, life's as bad as ever but after 5.30? stay kewl! life's good! was supposed to watch The Lake House today but nah, it was postponed ONCE AGAIN to friday. and no more postponing on friday. from 2 weeks ago, the movie just keeps get older and older. holy! Awfully nice movie to catch, i'm very late for it. many movies to hop on... time's not giving us any allowance, so is our doggie. like one says, when you have a kid, life's different. now our lives are no better.

but our hard effort will be paid off months/years later. i always do reminisce those good old days when you and i... carefree to do anything and time was all we had. life's different now, the route we took has changed. but i still wish those days will drop by us sometime soon.

reminiscing those nights when we had endless laughters, movie-catching, food-chase, walking down the streets hand in hand, taking night-riders, everything that we called our own.

those days.
are like history.
and memories buried in my mind.

but i still love you so.

p.s: is my sexuality a hindrance to anyone around me?

don't worry, i was once a homophobic- till to date, my gaydar's finally worked after such a long time. =)

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/16/2006 09:15:00 PM

it hurts to see her react this way.

asexually active i am.

but blessfully attached to my dumbest.

sleepy.

off to sleep, i love you.

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/16/2006 02:21:00 AM

Monday, August 14, 2006

bored bored very bored. i skipped work. i had fun over the weekends, and i overdosed it to monday. it's been like donkey years since i last stepped into a polyclinic. and no one tells me polyclinic provides cheaper MC during my secondary school days. nice ain't it.

seriously, we're both down on a tight budget. everything should just spend less and less. no more fags for me, no more cabs for me, bus all the way. sweets to stuff my mouth, exchange with her shopping habits. so now we'll just make do with eating, strolling, home-ing, sugar-ing, hmmm... anything less cost, more fun. call us! or not..

ring me up, if there's a sugar daddy coming along! haha.

life's getting boring, or life in singapore is just as boring as usual, especially when you have responsiblitles and commitment to attend to (sugar).

i'm missing my regular dosage of musical plays and artsy fartsy films. i'm missing my regular visit to "The CD Shop", HMV... and any of the music shops that takes in my kinda music. in fact, i miss shopping my music fantasies.

i miss cafe del mar, to think my last download was only their 25th anniversary collection. i think there's more that i need to keep track with. 3 cheers to cafe del mar - know what is it anot? haha

haiya, no need to elaborate more. i've got weird sense of listening. (yes? no? my mates listen them too, arty ones haha).

seal my mind, i love you so.
falling back into your embrace once again,
i know where i am now.
thank you for the days i felt numb.

Indulgence of the night

-> Rough Landing, Holly - YellowCard

Left the ground in black and white
And when the plane went down
The colors all around
I know by now, the margin's slight
And still I can't get out
She's all I think about
Can't let her go
It's who you know

We came down to watch the world walk by
And all she found was trouble in my eyes
From the sky she pulled me down tonight
Let her go

She moves fast, takes control
And like a heart attack I know I can't turn back
And the time just passed, nights moved slow
And she was all I had
I thought I'd never last
Can't let her go
It's who you know

She calls out the father I fly
I love that sound so give me one more line
From the sky she pulled me down tonight
Let her go

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/14/2006 11:50:00 PM

Saturday, August 12, 2006

the stolen treasure of mankind

that familiar route that i took today,
so alone,
so quiet.

keeping the tracks in my player running,
my thoughts ran as well.

those years,
that i walked through,
never the path changed,
thought would have just stayed this way.

i chose to stay that way,
but reality refused to grant me.

it changed me,
and i lost to reality.

while my mind just keeps singing, "the winner takes it all".
has it already taken all of what's left in me,
or has it left for me to salvage to accomodate the reality.

stod by here,
i was lost,
and am still lost.

that familiar route,
brought me back to my fantasy of illusions.
those enjoyment moments,
so long, yet it ended.

searching where i used to be,
i can barely trace those moments,
but only to keep it in my memory.

constantly blindly hurting the one i love,
no words said,
but your emotions tells me all.

how do i ever deal with this emotion of heartfelts.
i wander away time to time,
was this really me acting this way?

in fact, has reality stole the one i love,
and hurting me brutally,
and leaving the one i love clueless?

today, this memory brought me back to where i was once were.
today, this memory made me realised reality changed me.
today...

i realised time's not waiting for my ever-changing presence.

today...

i finally realised how brutal this world works.
bringing you so high,
hurting you so deeply.

reality,
till the day i understand you,

let me have what i used to have,
let me have the happiness i once owned,
let me have the laughters i used to show,
let me have the power to prove my presence of innocent and purity.

allow me..

allow me to find myself back.

counting - 3,2,1.

i dropped back to where i came from.
the moment of lost.
i don't wanna be back in there.
i wanna learn to crawl like before.

it pains in me,
to fall back to the lobby,
when i was already in the highest peak of happiness and anything of everything.

tonight,
i plead...

come to my dreams,
seal your answers in my mind.

and let me be who i used to be.

reality, you won.

but i'm still in my lobby,
where i shall find my way to you,
where i learn to crawl back again.

where,

i find the route to myself.

with love,
rachel

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/12/2006 02:58:00 PM

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

i tend to fall asleep every slightest minute,
my attention spent on something has been shorten.

i think i'm getting older and older each day,
as the number increases,
i'm getting worried.

cos i seem to have problems with my vision.

i know days are coming,
how many more can i see?

//- holidays are over. back to work.

is there any way to avoid the gap coming along, or is it just me having those thoughts?

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/09/2006 09:52:00 PM

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

i'm not gay.

lol

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/08/2006 05:42:00 PM

one email - certifies me something. at least my existence is still around. one email, that states - graphic designer required. it perks me up alittle to understand that what i've gone through for 3 yrs didn't get down to waste. for good old purpose, i chose to keep this mail, and forward it to ah 9. (after all he has got worse "tragic" than i do).

=D

it's been quite some time or shall i say.. a month since i've had sucha long holiday. today and tomorrow. fabulous is all i can say, i hope my time's packed up. not gonna waste a single bit of it. geesh!

just dropped by mr. cunt's blog, and only to realise he's been working out lately. mr. cunt, don't hurt your balls too much! and we sure gotta catch up real soon.... those food chase, and movie marathon...

or have you already gotten yourself a hot chick? =)

i miss them all.

ciao

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/08/2006 05:35:00 PM

Monday, August 07, 2006

Jekyll's letter to Utterson,

"Hence it came about that I concealed my pleasures; and that when I reached years of reflection, and began to look round me, and take stock of my progress and position in the world, I stood already committed to a profound duplicity of life."

the lead of the end.

Posted by Psyhotic at 8/07/2006 07:31:00 PM

Saturday, August 05, 2006

while she's sleeping, i've got myself hooked up with the pc. gaming for the past 2 hours, i'm getting so bored over the bloody game. to think i even played it - i felt so much naive now. in any case, was catchin up with ah 9 between lomos... to that faggot.

finally found the embassy for lomography - objectifs. just a few street across my workplace. oh great, that faggot teaches (oh what? conceptual photography) there. now you know why he's always not in his cubicle. ah 9 on a mission? haha...

well, talking about him makes me boil. in any case, i had my first detoxication this afternoon with only fruits at a later afternoon. but i had buffet at night, so what does it make it any better? it felt so good, having self-indulgence, and it clearly states we've to go into budget-planning soon - after adopting our daughter.

too tired to continue. shall continue tmr.